Parents need to Relax

Class B Boys
Forum rules
Please do not post just to complain about players, coaches, teams, officials, fans, or anyone else. Lets all try to demonstrate the spirit of good sportsmanship. Posts may be edited or deleted that do not comply.

Re: Parents need to Relax

Postby winner-within » Wed Apr 17, 2019 10:48 am

Run4Fun2009 wrote:The irony is that the title of this post is ‘Parents need to relax’ and yet what shows up within the topic :roll:


Irrelevant
If you can’t excel with talent, triumph with effort.
winner-within
NDPreps Legend
 
Posts: 4823
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 11:08 am

Re: Parents need to Relax

Postby winner-within » Wed Apr 17, 2019 11:04 am

The Schwab wrote:It seems that the purpose of the original was to imply that teams playing in the regional tournament didn't care if they won the game or not because they would have to face a team in the semi-finals that would have an unfair advantage with the refs. If I'm wrong I apologize.

Edit: I'm talking about the post from Winner-Within, not the start of the topic.


that was expressed, yes

It seems that certain members are disagreeing with the fact that a Ref can slant, can single out, can favor
are these members Officials?.....and I am going away completely from any game other than Class B Ball
I simply do not care how the reffing is in AAU, Grand-am, or any other tournament........ I know that all that stuff is hit and miss with officiating.....I'm talking Class B Basketball..........I have read many posts throughout the years on this forum, usually after a District game, or a Region game, or a State game maybe even a regular season game where someone is very upset with how a game was reffed when it comes to the outcome of the game...and now for some reason certain people are surprised by a post? thats where Wow - unreal comes in for me :roll:
If you can’t excel with talent, triumph with effort.
winner-within
NDPreps Legend
 
Posts: 4823
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 11:08 am

Re: Parents need to Relax

Postby The Schwab » Wed Apr 17, 2019 11:18 am

The part that surprised me was a team "not caring" that they didn't win the game, because they knew that the reffing would be against them the following night.
The Schwab
User avatar
The Schwab
NDPreps Legend
 
Posts: 3699
Joined: Sun Nov 12, 2006 5:38 am
Location: The Peace Garden State

Re: Parents need to Relax

Postby Bison-Vikes #1 » Wed Apr 17, 2019 11:31 am

One thing that becomes obvious is people react differently to situations once it happens to them/their children. Parents look at events through a different colored lens when their child is the one being scrutinized. Have been guilty of it myself and watched many officials/coaches who I consider very good, completely change once their child takes the hardwood. To put it plainly, "It's what parents do."
Bison-Vikes #1
NDPreps All-Conference
 
Posts: 387
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2011 10:47 am

Re: Parents need to Relax

Postby winner-within » Wed Apr 17, 2019 12:34 pm

The Schwab wrote:The part that surprised me was a team "not caring" that they didn't win the game, because they knew that the reffing would be against them the following night.


emotionally draining.... I realize Players are not supposed to have emotions or let them play into anything when they're involved in HS anything but sometimes thats asking a lot.....(said with a little satire)

I'm glad the rest doesn't surprise you, I was worried there were doubters
If you can’t excel with talent, triumph with effort.
winner-within
NDPreps Legend
 
Posts: 4823
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 11:08 am

Re: Parents need to Relax

Postby Flying Wallenda » Fri Apr 19, 2019 7:50 pm

Sat on this a few days. Guess I’ll respond. Usually don’t get into debates about things like this, but a few things bothered me about this.
1) attributing HCV’s success to “slanted” reffing is a slam to that program. Say they have a numbers advantage, a talent run, etc - crediting reffing? Not cool
2) questioning the character of the states refs? Less cool.
3) saying your team didn’t care they lost cause of the upcoming conspiracy they faced? Even less cool.
As a coach/supporter of that program, perpetuating that won’t do much for your program.
Flying Wallenda
NDPreps All-State
 
Posts: 527
Joined: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:39 pm

Re: Parents need to Relax

Postby BISONFAN18 » Sat Apr 20, 2019 9:11 am

Flying Wallenda wrote:Sat on this a few days. Guess I’ll respond. Usually don’t get into debates about things like this, but a few things bothered me about this.
1) attributing HCV’s success to “slanted” reffing is a slam to that program. Say they have a numbers advantage, a talent run, etc - crediting reffing? Not cool
2) questioning the character of the states refs? Less cool.
3) saying your team didn’t care they lost cause of the upcoming conspiracy they faced? Even less cool.
As a coach/supporter of that program, perpetuating that won’t do much for your program.


I had tried to respond to his post as well. It definitely did not sit well with me but the more I tried to put words down, the more I some what agreed. I think the delivery was worse than the message; hardly the time or place. The post was very off topic but here we are. Official's politics is real, folks. Some of it is human nature, some of it is getting contracts. It is worse when it is the latter but will always be an issue while officials are independent contractors.
BISONFAN18
NDPreps Starter
 
Posts: 85
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2018 6:32 pm

Re: Parents need to Relax

Postby winner-within » Mon Apr 22, 2019 2:24 pm

Flying Wallenda wrote:Sat on this a few days. Guess I’ll respond. Usually don’t get into debates about things like this, but a few things bothered me about this.
1) attributing HCV’s success to “slanted” reffing is a slam to that program. Say they have a numbers advantage, a talent run, etc - crediting reffing? Not cool
2) questioning the character of the states refs? Less cool.
3) saying your team didn’t care they lost cause of the upcoming conspiracy they faced? Even less cool.
As a coach/supporter of that program, perpetuating that won’t do much for your program.


-once again "words in my mouth"
when you write something about something you've read, you have to stay calm and unbiased
I said the "leaning" could be attributed to "their success,(2 time defending champs) their legacy their devotion to the sport of Basketball.....total opposite of what you said "attributing HCV’s success to “slanted” reffing"
age old saying (may have derived from boxing, but applies "always harder to knock off the champ")
but I am not saying it happens just playing them, it just happens and can happen, and will happen, so don't be offended....
-I have the utmost respect for any High School, that from the school board, to the Booster club, to the fans and community and Coaching staff, they plan on a year end and year out basis to GO TO STATE!....thats huge, be proud!
Its fair to question the character, of a State Rep. The POTUS, me, (or anybody)
when you want and expect fairness and don't get it, what are you supposed to question, and I could go on to say that I wouldn't even refer to it as character.....
-and once again "words in my mouth" I didn't say it was "the team" that said it, I said it "was expressed"
could be one could be 2, thats all you need to know.....and now you say you coach and or support and it won't do good for their (not mine) program, I hope you are not referring to how things are officiated, otherwise we have to erase everything you've tried to "slant" that I said..........
If you can’t excel with talent, triumph with effort.
winner-within
NDPreps Legend
 
Posts: 4823
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 11:08 am

Re: Parents need to Relax

Postby Flying Wallenda » Mon Apr 22, 2019 2:59 pm

winner-within wrote:
Flying Wallenda wrote:Sat on this a few days. Guess I’ll respond. Usually don’t get into debates about things like this, but a few things bothered me about this.
1) attributing HCV’s success to “slanted” reffing is a slam to that program. Say they have a numbers advantage, a talent run, etc - crediting reffing? Not cool
2) questioning the character of the states refs? Less cool.
3) saying your team didn’t care they lost cause of the upcoming conspiracy they faced? Even less cool.
As a coach/supporter of that program, perpetuating that won’t do much for your program.


-once again "words in my mouth"
when you write something about something you've read, you have to stay calm and unbiased
I said the "leaning" could be attributed to "their success,(2 time defending champs) their legacy their devotion to the sport of Basketball.....total opposite of what you said "attributing HCV’s success to “slanted” reffing"
age old saying (may have derived from boxing, but applies "always harder to knock off the champ")
but I am not saying it happens just playing them, it just happens and can happen, and will happen, so don't be offended....
-I have the utmost respect for any High School, that from the school board, to the Booster club, to the fans and community and Coaching staff, they plan on a year end and year out basis to GO TO STATE!....thats huge, be proud!
Its fair to question the character, of a State Rep. The POTUS, me, (or anybody)
when you want and expect fairness and don't get it, what are you supposed to question, and I could go on to say that I wouldn't even refer to it as character.....
-and once again "words in my mouth" I didn't say it was "the team" that said it, I said it "was expressed"
could be one could be 2, thats all you need to know.....and now you say you coach and or support and it won't do good for their (not mine) program, I hope you are not referring to how things are officiated, otherwise we have to erase everything you've tried to "slant" that I said..........


"It does Suk when a player doesn't even care if they move on knowing whats in store with the Officials though (was expressed)" - were you saying that the refs would have favored of HCV by writing that or not?

Regarding:
"when you want and expect fairness and don't get it, what are you supposed to question, and I could go on to say that I wouldn't even refer to it as character..." - I have no idea of what you're referring to. But, I would guess stating that the refs rip of Cavalier continually. Yes or not?

Regarding whether you coach or support, I have no idea. Obviously you are a huge Cavalier supporter at the minimum. If you perpetuate to the team that you support that the deck is always stacked against them because the refs have it in for them or are favoring the other team going in, I fail to see how that will help your or their cause.

As for staying cool and unbiased ---- cool as a cucumber.
Flying Wallenda
NDPreps All-State
 
Posts: 527
Joined: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:39 pm

Re: Parents need to Relax

Postby winner-within » Mon Apr 22, 2019 3:53 pm

Flying Wallenda wrote:
winner-within wrote:
Flying Wallenda wrote:Sat on this a few days. Guess I’ll respond. Usually don’t get into debates about things like this, but a few things bothered me about this.
1) attributing HCV’s success to “slanted” reffing is a slam to that program. Say they have a numbers advantage, a talent run, etc - crediting reffing? Not cool
2) questioning the character of the states refs? Less cool.
3) saying your team didn’t care they lost cause of the upcoming conspiracy they faced? Even less cool.
As a coach/supporter of that program, perpetuating that won’t do much for your program.


-once again "words in my mouth"
when you write something about something you've read, you have to stay calm and unbiased
I said the "leaning" could be attributed to "their success,(2 time defending champs) their legacy their devotion to the sport of Basketball.....total opposite of what you said "attributing HCV’s success to “slanted” reffing"
age old saying (may have derived from boxing, but applies "always harder to knock off the champ")
but I am not saying it happens just playing them, it just happens and can happen, and will happen, so don't be offended....
-I have the utmost respect for any High School, that from the school board, to the Booster club, to the fans and community and Coaching staff, they plan on a year end and year out basis to GO TO STATE!....thats huge, be proud!
Its fair to question the character, of a State Rep. The POTUS, me, (or anybody)
when you want and expect fairness and don't get it, what are you supposed to question, and I could go on to say that I wouldn't even refer to it as character.....
-and once again "words in my mouth" I didn't say it was "the team" that said it, I said it "was expressed"
could be one could be 2, thats all you need to know.....and now you say you coach and or support and it won't do good for their (not mine) program, I hope you are not referring to how things are officiated, otherwise we have to erase everything you've tried to "slant" that I said..........


"It does Suk when a player doesn't even care if they move on knowing whats in store with the Officials though (was expressed)" - were you saying that the refs would have favored of HCV by writing that or not?

Regarding:
"when you want and expect fairness and don't get it, what are you supposed to question, and I could go on to say that I wouldn't even refer to it as character..." - I have no idea of what you're referring to. But, I would guess stating that the refs rip of Cavalier continually. Yes or not?

Regarding whether you coach or support, I have no idea. Obviously you are a huge Cavalier supporter at the minimum. If you perpetuate to the team that you support that the deck is always stacked against them because the refs have it in for them or are favoring the other team going in, I fail to see how that will help your or their cause.

As for staying cool and unbiased ---- cool as a cucumber.


I was saying it "was expressed" so that is not me saying it or "the team" like you implied (which I never said)
do I agree? maybe I do, but it is the expression that concerns me most....

you said I was "questioning the character of the state refs" ......I spoke of fairness, thats only one pillar of the six that make up character....

I thought you meant you coached,
so no, I always say "stay up by 10 and keep the refs out of it"... :wink:
If you can’t excel with talent, triumph with effort.
winner-within
NDPreps Legend
 
Posts: 4823
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 11:08 am

Re: Parents need to Relax

Postby defensewinsgames » Thu Apr 25, 2019 10:03 am

So I don't want to dump more fuel on this fire because honestly I'm surprised this has turned into such a controversial topic. However, I do feel the need to add this little blurp. When you act like what has been described in the early parts of this thread at sporting events you are setting a terrible example for your kids. What I have heard from employers, coaches, refs, administrators, teachers, and everyone else of the generations that aren't millennial or gen-z is how soft, moody, disrespectful, lazy, entitled, etc those generations are. The problem is that they learn those behaviors from parents! It is an undeniable truth that most behavior is learned, psychology and the study of behaviors tells us this. Your athletes on the court/field or younger kids in the stands see mom/dad/grandma/grandpa/family friend or whoever else it is acting like a jerk to other players, coaches, officials and it signals to them that it is acceptable behavior. Once you have learned it is ok to treat some people poorly you believe you can treat all people poorly. Then those same people acting like jerks are the loudest complainers when people with those behaviors are their co-workers or employees they have to hire. Ask anyone in a school setting or involved with athletics and they can't believe how openly disrespectful today's kids are and it all goes back to what they learned at home. As the old adage goes, "you reap what you sow." It all starts with the image and actions you are portraying for those watching you. You are your kids heroes and idols and they soak up what you do like a dry sponge in dishwater. Your children will turn into what you model for them whether it be good or bad.
defensewinsgames
NDPreps All-Conference
 
Posts: 425
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:26 am

Re: Parents need to Relax

Postby leroybla » Thu Apr 25, 2019 10:45 pm

Like ^^^^^
leroybla
NDPreps Starter
 
Posts: 194
Joined: Sat Dec 10, 2011 3:47 pm

Re: Parents need to Relax

Postby Sportsrube » Fri Apr 26, 2019 5:49 am

defensewinsgames really hit the nail on the head. So many problems we have with kids can be tracked back to poor parenting.
Sportsrube
NDPreps All-State
 
Posts: 772
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2009 2:03 pm

Re: Parents need to Relax

Postby winner-within » Tue Apr 30, 2019 1:09 pm

Sportsrube wrote:defensewinsgames really hit the nail on the head. So many problems we have with kids can be tracked back to poor parenting.


what's poor parenting?
fan/parent 1:
lets say you've (in general, nobody specifically) never been vocal at a game in your life...you just sit there, I say those type are just quite in general, but sometimes they're also very neutral, they don't care who wins even if its their hometown, some are affiliated with the school and can't or won't make a wave but to stay on topic (because its unlawful to stray) they are still a parent...they have the belief that it is simply a sport offered by the school (and i'm going to keep this "school specific") and win or lose, thats how it goes in life...but they watch the tape at home and get critical of everything but won't voice....Good Parenting?
fan/parent 2:
Mom hollers, Dad doesn't.... so this means one or both of moms parents hollered or one didn't
Dad Hollers, Mom doesn't ....so this means one or both of dads parents hollered or one didn't
but Grandpa is there hollering so now we know which one it was.............awe! relief we solved the puzzle!
OR, is it in the DNA?...is there such thing as a highly competitive/vocal personality, where even screaming and hollering are part of the game.......man I miss the days of loud, loud gyms and fans!!
I say the announcement "good behavior and good sportsmanship on the Mic before the games is all BS" things have gotten worse since this has all started....kids are scared to yell & cheer at one school and then the next school they all go nuts because of how things are cultivated in the school and community when it comes to getting in the heads of the players etc etc

one thing Parents teach is Racism....now its okay to be Racial they believe or lets say feel.... I don't believe this is in the DNA as much as "highly competitive sports fan"
some get lucky and the family stays the color of skin they like
sometimes if backfires (in their mindset) and it doesn't....they may even claim they messed up parenting or say it was "poor parenting" on their part.........I like the "parents need to relax" topic thing and I won't start the topic of "parents need to wake up" .....but some do!
If you can’t excel with talent, triumph with effort.
winner-within
NDPreps Legend
 
Posts: 4823
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 11:08 am

Re: Parents need to Relax

Postby classB4ever » Wed May 01, 2019 9:10 am

winner-within wrote:one thing Parents teach is Racism....now its okay to be Racial they believe or lets say feel.... I don't believe this is in the DNA as much as "highly competitive sports fan"
some get lucky and the family stays the color of skin they like
sometimes if backfires (in their mindset) and it doesn't....they may even claim they messed up parenting or say it was "poor parenting" on their part.


Read through your entire post many, many times to figure it out. Get your point up until this last paragraph. For the life of me, don't understand this last part. Could you explain?
classB4ever
NDPreps All-State
 
Posts: 983
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 12:20 pm

Re: Parents need to Relax

Postby winner-within » Wed May 01, 2019 1:53 pm

Being Racist
example: making fun of or ridiculing or degrading, using "N" word openly...consider yourself better than another race or lets say more superior.....
is a person born this way (in their DNA) or taught this by example?

do some parents hope and maybe even pray or persuade their children to not marry a different race still to this day? does that plan sometimes "backfire" (in their mindset) and they actually do?

if this is being done is this "poor parenting" ?

what more do you need to know....and please don't say I went of the thread topic........
If you can’t excel with talent, triumph with effort.
winner-within
NDPreps Legend
 
Posts: 4823
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 11:08 am

Previous

Return to Boys

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests