District 5 16-17

Class B Boys
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District 5 16-17

Postby heimer » Wed Jul 27, 2016 8:16 am

Who's going to win it?



I hear Valley City is top shelf and ready to make a run at........

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Re: District 5 16-17

Postby go maji » Wed Jul 27, 2016 11:34 am

I don't get it. Somebody help.
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Re: District 5 16-17

Postby heimer » Wed Jul 27, 2016 11:41 am



In the beginning, the sports world was void, and without form, with only sports of sticks and bases or unorganized running with leather helmets available. And the Lord moved across the world, and said, "Let there be baskets." And baskets, made of wood capable of holding peaches, were formed. And the Lord saw it was good, and pleased. Evening passed and morning came, and that was the first day.

Then, the Lord said, "Let the baskets be positioned on poles at separate ends of a firm surface. And a surface of wood was formed, rectangle in shape. And the baskets were supported by the poles and placed on opposite ends of the wood surface. And the Lord saw it was good, and was pleased. Evening passed and morning came, and that was the second day.

Then, the Lord said, "Let a ball be fashioned to be thrown into the baskets. And let the ball be bounced from the surface to allow it to be moved from one side of the surface to the other. And a ball of leather was made, and filled with air, and the Lord saw that it bounced from the surface and fit in the baskets, and he saw that it was good, and was pleased. Evening passed and morning came, and that was the third day.

Then, the Lord said, "Let us fashion new baskets that are without a bottom, so as to allow the ball to move through the basket and back to the surface without emptying the basket. And the Lord fashioned rings of iron, and attached nets to the baskets, allowing the ball to pass through the ring and through the net to the floor. And the Lord threw the ball through the ring, and saw the ball fall to the floor, and he saw that it was good, and was pleased. Evening passed and morning came, and that was the fourth day.

Then the Lord said, "Let us fashion people to participate in this activity. Let them be of varying strength, speed, and agility, and let them move across the surface in groups, with some groups attempting to throw the ball in one ring, while the other group attempts to throw the ball in the other ring." And the Lord reached down, and took soil from the earth, and fashioned people of different types.

Then the Lord said, "Let us fashion a certain person to control the various groups of people, with authority to position those people at various spots on the floor where their abilities will allow the best possible opportunity for that group to throw the ball through the ring they are assigned to." And the Lord took more soil from the earth, and created a person of great knowledge. And he named that person Coach.

And the Lord said to the coach, "Name the people I have created based on their abilities and their positions on the floor. And Coach observed the people, and named them according to their abilities, naming all those on the surface Players, with names of Guard, Wing, Forward, Post, and Center, with some names working in place of others.

And the Lord saw that it was good, and was pleased. Evening passed and morning came, and that was the fifth day.

Then the Lord said, "Let us create a place of refreshment for those moving across the surface, so they may replace the energy they use while involved in the activity. And the Lord created a table, and a dispenser for liquid, with a spout from the bottom of a jug. And the Lord created various liquids to flow from the jug, including energy drinks, and water. And the Lord saw that it was good, and he was pleased. Evening passed and morning came, and that was the sixth day.

Then the looked over his creation, and saw that it was good, and he said, "Let us make the seventh day a day of rest." And the Lord rested.

The Table:

The Lord had created many liquids to refresh the people on the surface, as well as those off the surface. One day, Coach asked the Lord, "What liquids may my players drink of, and which should they not drink of?"

The Lord said, "Your players may drink of any liquids at the table, and may drink of many liquids outside of the surface, but they may not drink of the Kool-Aid called Class B. That liquid is forbidden."

One day, Coach was met by another man of great knowledge, a man named Superintendent. And Coach said, "Find us a liquid that will allow our players to be better refreshed during play, but obey the Lord, and do not take of the Kool-Aid of Class B.

And Superintendent left the surface and journeyed, searching for the liquid. And he was met by a serpent, and the serpent said, "Is it true that the Lord will not let you drink of the Kool-Aid of Class B?"

And Superintendent said, "The Lord says we may drink of any liquid except the Kool-Aid of Class B, or we will surely die."

The serpent said, "You will not die if you drink of the Kool-Aid of Class B. The Lord knows that you will have increased knowledge if you drink of Class B. He knows you will learn how to instruct your players to gain advantage by actually not throwing the ball in the basket, and you will learn how to keep groups of larger size away from your surface, while your group is still a larger size than many of the groups that visit your surface."

And Superintendent drank of Class B, and took some back to the surface, and Coach drank of it as well. And upon drinking of Class B, their knowledge greatly increased. And Coach ordered many groups away from his surface, and then made his players only throw the ball to each other, and not through the basket.

And the Lord came to the surface, and saw what had happened, and said to Coach, "Why have many groups left, and why do your players not throw the ball in the basket? Did you drink of the Kool-Aid of Class B?"

And Coach said, "Superintendent, whom you created, drank of Class B, and gave some to me, and I drank of it."

And the Lord was enraged, and said, "I will punish you for drinking the Kool-Aid of Class B. No longer will players in your area play at the same level as those of different levels. I will divide your land into states. And your state will be sparse, with few players to choose from, while other states will be blessed with many players. And your players will work hard, but not receive what the land gives you as in other states."

And the Lord named the game Basketball, and he separated the game into many levels, and Class B became the smallest level.

The Covenant

The Lord had a loyal servant named Fastbreak. Fastbreak was a Class B player, and he was exciting to watch, and made many other players fans of his time on the surface.

And the Lord spoke to Fastbreak, and said to him, "With you I will make my covenant. You will produce many offspring, and your descendents will be like grains of sand or stars in the sky. You will keep my ways, and I will bless you."

And Fastbreak had many descendents, and his descendents ruled a land given to them by the Lord called Smalltown.

The Ten Commandments

And it came to pass that Fastbreak, eager to bring order to the land, requested a set of rules that the land could abide by.

Fastbreak was summoned to the top of a high hill near a valley, and was met by the Lord. And the Lord said to Fastbreak, "I have heard your prayers, and you will receive my commandments to live by. I will summon a group of your people, called Board of Directors. You will work with them to create the rules."

And Fastbreak ventured to a small village, where Board of Directors had been meeting in secret. Fastbreak said, "I have come to work with you to create rules."

But Board of Directors said, "We have already met to discuss the rules, and need no further help from you."

Fastbreak replied, "The Lord has asked me to help you in this task. Yet, you did not inform me of your desire to meet."

Board of Directors replied, "Our notice of the meeting was written on a stone tablet of some 16 square inches, and placed under a table in a home four miles from here for all of the world to see. It is not our fault you did not attend our meeting."

And Board of Directors handed two tablets to Fastbreak, each with five commandments of the game written upon them.

Fastbreak took the commandments to a meeting of those called Coach near the table of refreshment. After serving the land's finest Class B Kool-Aid, the commandments were read aloud.

You shall have no other sports with even similar importance

You shall have no idols, save for Beyer, Eaglestaff, and Blehm

Profanity or vain words will result in a technical foul

Wednesday and Sunday are out of the question. Yes, even Wednesday

Mom and Dad are the best coaches and referees. Just ask them.

Physical play is not allowed, unless you play in college

You shall not transfer to play, unless you can win that way

Stealing a state title is only allowed if you leave Bottineau

You need proof that a transfer is not living with his uncle's cousin before accusing them

You don't need a new gym just because they got one. Wait, yes you do.

The Temple

And it came to be that Smalltown was ruled by Statetitle, a ruler of considerable power. And Statetitle was blessed by the Lord, and Statetitle created a temple for the Lord, called State Tournament, where Class B players could come to worship.

But after a victory by Smalltown against the enemies of the Lord, Smalltown looked across to a different room, and saw a beautiful trophy. The Smalltown knew he had to have the trophy, again and again. And Smalltown said to his commanders, "We must do different things to have trophies. Therefore, we will no longer run toward the basket and throw the ball through. Instead, we will throw the ball through, and then we will keep the ball from the other team for as long as we can. In this way, they cannot throw the ball in the basket."

And Smalltown's advisor begged him, saying, "The Lord made the game in his own image. You will anger the Lord, and he will no longer be on our side."

But Smalltown did as he was tempted, and he claimed the trophy.

And the advisor said to Smalltown, "You have angered the Lord. He condemns your kingdom. Your kingdom will fall, but you will not die."

The Fall of the Temple

It came to be that, after Smalltown's betrayal, the descendents of Fastbreak turned away from the ways of the Lord. They continued to keep the ball from the other team, and continued to not throw the ball in the basket.

The Lord then sent judgments against Fastbreak's descendents. He took away the number of players in the group to put on the surface. He then reduced the number of groups in the region, forcing some groups to band with others simply to be on the surface.

Then, the Lord delivered a harsh punishment. The Lord sent groups of his own choosing, groups that taught their players in his name. These groups were called Private Schools, and Red River Valley Conference Teams, and they become the mortal enemy of Fastbreak's descendents.

And the land called for a hero. Then one day, mighty Hillsboro, a descendent of Red River Valley Conference, challenged the mass of Fastbreak's descendents, taunting them by saying, "Will none of you challenge me?"

And Epping, a lowly member of Fastbreak's descendents, stepped forward. Hillsboro laughed and scoffed, "You are the smallest of your tribe. How do you plan to defeat me?"

And Epping, blessed by the Lord, grabbed a stone, and affixed it in his sling. And he slung it at Hillsboro, and slew him."

And Epping became the hero of Fastbreaks descendents. And Epping ruled over a resurgence of the Lords ways in the land, and become a mighty king, with tales of his deeds handed down from generation to generation.

But after Eppings death, the land again drew away from the Lords ways. The Lord sent an emeny people, called the Board of Directors, to destroy the temple. The Board of Directors invaded the land, and the temple was turned into a relic, where people gathered to simply exchange money and remember the glory of Fastbreaks past. And darkness fell over the land.

The New Testament

The Gospel

The Birth

During the reign of the Board of Directors, the Lord sent an angel upon a virgin girl, named Valley City. The angel of the Lord appeared to the girl, and said, "Do not be afraid. You will bear a son, the son of the Lord, and he shall be the savior of our people."

And Valley City was greatly troubled, as she was betrothed to a descendent of Fastbreak named Eastern Dakota Conference. But the angel appeared to Eastern Dakota Conference, and said, Do not be troubled. Valley City will be the Lord's son, sent to be a savior for the world. Take Valley City as your own, and raise the son."

And Eastern Dakota Conference did as he was ordered.

Now, in the days of 2010, a star appeared over a building on Central Avenue, across from the high school. And wise men from near and far saw the star, and they believed. And they traveled toward the star.

Valley City and Eastern Dakota Conference were traveling to their land for a census, and Valley City knew the time had come to give birth. They arrived at the building on 2nd Streeet Northwest, but there was no room for them in the building. They were lodged in a building under the star.

And Valley City gave birth, and it was a son. And she said, "I will name my son Three Class System, and he will be a savior to his people Fastbreak.

And the wise men, from Edgeley, and Jamestown, and Fargo, presented gifts to Three Class System, and they bowed down and worshipped.

The Temptation of Three Class System

And Three Class System grew, and began a journey through the land. And he encountered a river, and a man named South Dakota, who was baptizing in the river, saying, "Repent your two-class ways, the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. I baptize you in water, but the one who is coming will baptize with unquenchable fire."

And Three Class System walked into the river, and South Dakota saw who it was, and said, "You should baptize me." But Three Class System was baptized, and as he emerged from the water, the Heavens opened, and the Lord said, "This is my son, Three Class System, with whom I am pleased.

Then Three Class System wandered the desert for 40 days, with no food or drink. And Satan appeared, and said to him, "If you are truly the son of God, command these rocks to become the state semifinals."

But Three Class System said, "Basketball does not live by the ticket booth alone, but by every game of the year."

Then Satan took Three Class System to the top of a cliff, and said, "Throw yourself upon the ground, for surely the Lord will not let his son be hurt."

But Three Class System replied, "It is not wise to tempt the Lord."

Then Satan showed Three Class System the state title game, with massive crowds, and he said, "All of this I will give you if you will worship me."

And Three Class System said, "Get away from me Satan!" And Satan left him, and angels appeared and ministered to him.

The Teachings of Three Class System

Three Class System attended a game in Fargo, but the game ran out of excitement. And Valley City went to Three Class System, and said, "Help these people." And Three Class System said to Valley City, "My time has not yet come." But Valley City went to the hosts and said, "Do as he says."

And Three Class System held out his arms, and new lines appeared on the surface, in the form of a semi-circle on each end of the surface, a great distance from the basket. And Three Class System said, "Beyond these lines will now exist a chance to earn three points for your group by throwing the ball in the basket from beyond the line."

And the hosts were greatly elated. And they said to him, "Normally games will give us the best at the beginning, but fade when the guests have had their fill, but you have saved the best for now."

Then Three Class System was walking through the land, and was approached by a Class A fan who said, "My game is stale from too much defense, and games in smaller places, where there is far less defense, have more scoring."

And Three Class System spit upon the ground and rubbed the dirt in his fingers and formed a mud. He then rubbed the mud on walls at each end of the surface, and new clocks formed, clocks that counted down from 35. And Three Class System said, "These clocks now indicate how much time you have to throw the ball at the basket. If you do not do so by the time the horn sounds, you will give the ball to the other team."

And the man was healed, and told everyone in the land. And soon, even Class B players used the clock.

Three Class System then gathered the masses, and began teaching them.

"Blessed are those with many classes, for their games are more balanced."

"Blessed are those at Class A who mourn for attention, for they will play in college."

"Blessed are those many state tournaments, for more people will go and watch."

"Blessed are those who can think forward, for they will keep the sport alive."

The Crucifixion

The time of the Board of Directors meeting was coming, and Three Class System arrived at the building on 2nd Street Northwest.

The time of the Board of Directors meeting was coming, and Three Class System arrived at the building on 2nd Street Northwest.

And while he was there, he was challenged by the Pharisees. Grafton, a member of the Pharisess, said, "Will you not follow our teachings that we can hold the ball as long as we want?"

And Three Class System replied, "You have a fine way of rejecting the will of God to establish your tradition. Your system was built on rules against the way the game was to be played."

Then Central Cass, another Pharisee, said, "Our system is based on numbers passed down from the bylaws. Shall we not follow the bylaws? And Three Class System took a coin from his pocket, a coin that had a football on one side, and a number 4 on the other. And he said, "Was football not originally under a different bylaw. Give to the game what is the games and to the bylaws what is the bylaws."

The Pharisees knew that Three Class System was a threat. They had him arrested in the building, and took him to the Board of Directors, and said, "This man claims he is the son of God, that his way is the right way. It is blasphemy."

And the Prefect at the time, Sherm Sylling, met with Three Class System, and questioned him, and appeared before the crowd, and said, "I find nothing wrong with this man."

But the crowd said, "We want super co-ops that go beyond our bylaws to remain Class B anyway, like wrestling and softball, not this man."

And Sherm Sylling turned him over to the Board of Directors, and said, "I am done with this man. Do as you wish."

And the Board of Directors asked, "What should we do with this man?"

And the crowd said, "Crucify him!"

So, the Board of Directors handed him over to Media. And Media scourged Three Class System, beating him mercilessly. He was then taken back to the Board of Directors room, where he died.

And St. Rick Diegel of Edgeley, took the broken body of Three Class System to a tomb, and laid him there.
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Re: District 5 16-17

Postby d_fense » Wed Jul 27, 2016 12:01 pm

Anyone going to bother reading that last post? If so, please provide a cliff notes summary.
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Re: District 5 16-17

Postby UNDSiouxfan » Wed Jul 27, 2016 1:33 pm

spot on Heimer. Very well done!
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Re: District 5 16-17

Postby for3 » Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:35 am

A lot of outstanding seniors from last year have left many teams for the upcoming year. Hardest hit teams were Edgeley, Lamoure and Oakes. Ellendale lost 2 starters but 4 seniors so the JV players will have some playing time to earn. Carrington lost 2 starters, while Midkota and BCN return most of their starters. Ellendale and Carrington should be the two favored teams in the district. Vance and Edland should be the favorites for district senior player of the year.

Ellendale returns 3 starters from last years team,Seniors Breenan Vance (15pts) returning all district, Luke Wertz (7pts), and Hunter White(6pts). Brennan Vance is a top player in the region , he handles the ball well and is a well rounded player. Hertz and White are good role players with Wertz being the better defender/rebounder. White likes to shoot the 3 ptrs and is a streaky shooter. The remaining starters will come from the JV ranks.

Carrington returns 3 starters from last year. Senior Bryce Edland (14pts, 7reb) all district, Juniors Garret Bickett (15pts)all district and Jayden Shipman(3pts). Carrington will also return many players that had many varsity minutes, Juniors Kolten Vetter, & Sophs Trey Rosenau and Peyton Smith. Bryce Edland is a good post player and rebounder and Bickett is a good outside shooter. Shipman is an energy player who is strong defender. Carrington will have a new coach this year in Tim Ranum.

Edegely lost most of their starters from last year team but will return Logan Hanson all district. He is a strong post player with good touch out to the 3 pt line. Logan looks to draw contact on his shots and is a good free throw shooter. The remaining starters will have limited time and will be making the adjustments to being starters.

BCN will return all 5 starters from last year. Allen Contreas is their main player who handles the ball well and is an undersized post player who attacks the base and is physical. He is a returning all district player.

Midkota will return 4 starters from last year will feature Senior Lane Hoyt and Junior Mason Smith, They will be looking to improve and finish in the middle of the pack.

Oakes and Lamoure both lost most of their scoring and will be looking to rebuild this year. Both teams have good coaches in Coach Thielges and Coach Bata. They will be prepared and competitive.

Good luck to all the teams this year
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Re: District 5 16-17

Postby EHS1998 » Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:26 pm

Great stuff for3. I think you mean Lane Hanson (big bro Logan graduated about 3 years ago). Also, Oakes will have a new Coach this year as Bryan Dethlesen takes over for Brandon Bata, who has moved into the administration for OHS.

A couple of thoughts on Ellendale...

Agree on your take on Vance but I feel that Wertz and White have been more than just role players. White is a very good point guard who can score, defend and set his teammates up well and Wertz is very strong can score inside and outside in addition to his defensive prowess. Also look out for Lucas Hofer, Jake Dewald, Cole Goehring, Casey Strong and Austin Molen, all talented, smart, athletic players who will step in to the fold in big ways this year. A number of others, including a talented, emerging post in Dillon Thorpe, who played well this summer, will also be factors this season. A tougher early season schedule than normal will identify where the Cardinals are at and how far they need to go.
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