The Coaches Robbed Kaleb Johnson

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The Coaches Robbed Kaleb Johnson

Postby heimer » Sat Mar 24, 2018 8:14 am

Dear Grand Forks Police Department,

There has been another theft in our fine city, and I have taken care of all the investigative work for you.

It is an open and shut case, really. There is video evidence, a vast number of eye witnesses, and expert testimony from well-respected authorities in the industry.

The stolen property in question is a trophy acknowledging Grand Forks Central goalie Kaleb Johnson as a 2017-18 All-State selection.

He will not be receiving it, and it is a crime.

Means, motive, and opportunity, right? Okay.

The means were a collection of coaches deciding to spread the hardware around evenly so as to keep more from making it's way to 5th street.

The motive for the crime is senioritis. The coaches chose two senior goalies as the award winners. One was the 7th best regular or half-time starter (minimum 13 games played), a 2.86 goals against average with a 7-11-2 record and an 89.6% save percentage.

The other was the 11th best goals against at 3.35, with a 14-12 record and a 91.2% save rate.

But, apparently the meat grinder of not making the state tournament or topping Minot to get there means more than Johnson's EDC regular season, regional, or state title. Those other goalies outplayed his 21-1-2 record, his unreal 0.99 goals against, or that 94.3% save rate, all leading numbers in North Dakota.

So, either seniors need a trophy, or other coaches feel Central has an embarrassment of riches in front of the net, and Knight goalies just don't have to work as hard as as they have to at North or Jamestown.

Opportunity included their ballot behind closed doors out of the sphere of public scrutiny, which the people hope your charges will provide.

Now, the defense will argue that their body of work justifies the award. But, before this goes to the States Attorney for potential charges, please investigate the last occurrence of Kaleb Johnson losing a game to a North Dakota team. I can't be sure, but I believe it was the state semifinals two years ago.

Yeah, that long.

Hopefully, the jury will not see the crime as justified, as the coaches must have felt when they penalized Johnson for playing on a repeat state championship team that had to replace 15 players, including the state's best player a year ago and five defensemen.

Speaking of which, could you please also investigate the disappearance of Grant Paranica's Coach of the Year Award? He will not be getting that either.
God is bigger than football.
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